Wednesday, 22 June 2011
i wish i could put all my thoughts in a jar. i think too much. thinking too much causes me to over think and analyze things i don't want to deal with. it gets too much for me to handle and i panic. i shut myself down and go to war with myself. i'm tired. i'm sick of being tired. i don't like who i am, but i have to live with it. i don't know what i'm doing. i'm sick of feeling sad. sick of wanting things and people i can't have. i want to be at peace with myself for once. to be happy and think about things that doesn't send me over the edge.
i realized that i was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. that the person i missed didn't exist anymore. people change. the things we like and dislike change. and we can wish they wouldn't all day long but thatnever works.
"I know that you poured your heart and soul out to somebody who just ripped it apart and didn’t care. I know that you loved somebody with all of your heart and they just ruined it. i know that its going to be hard for you to ever trust somebody again, and this is going to take some time, I realize that. However, I’m willing to take that time, cause I’m looking for something that most people will never know. I’m looking for something real. I know it doesn’t make sense that I’m expecting it out of a 16 year old but for some reason, I just feel that way toward you, I really do. I don’t know why. I wish I could explain it better, but if you really are ever gonna love me you have to let me in, let me know how you feel, let me know your problems trust me. believe me. I don’t expect all of this over night. This is gonna take some time. I understand that perfectly. but if it does end I want it to end with both of us saying wow I want to find that again. I just want you to be happy and I’m gonna do my best to make sure of that even if I’m not that special guy in your life. You deserve to be happy and I am going to see that you are. I’ll do my best to always take care of you and your feelings. I am here for you no matter what."
------ IF SOMEONE SAID THIS TO ME I WOULD FALL IN LOVE INSTANTLY
come to me and let me be your one and only cause i can make it alright till the morning.
so it's my fault you gave up? when i'm the one who's still standing here holding on to everything you let go of?
this life don't last forever so tell me what you're waiting for.
a guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.
the best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and best friends. it's when you have more playful moments than serious moments. it's when you can joke around, have unexpected huge, and random kisses. it's when you two give each other that specific stare and just smile. it's when you'll rather chill inside to watch mvies, eat junk food, and cuddle than go out all the time. it's when you'll stay up all night just to settle your arguements and problems. it's when you can completely act yourself and they can still love you for who you are.
Marvin's Room -Jojo